Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
