Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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