Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
