Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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