Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this beer tastes like vomit already
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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