The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i came on her dog
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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