i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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