she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
