At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Vodka?
Forever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
