I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
