can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
