I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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