last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
