i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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