she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
