Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
