so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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