1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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