I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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