Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
