I need help removing her.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
