And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
