I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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