Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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