"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
