It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
