oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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