All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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