i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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