i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
