I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
