THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
