My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
