his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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