You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
