HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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