I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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