I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's always time for handjobs
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
