I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
