i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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