I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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