i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
