so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
