Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
