your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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