Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
