I'm lost and stupid without you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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