Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
