I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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