I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
